At the Hospital

(this was taken straight out my journal)

We arrived at the hospital and went straight to Labor and Delivery, where they were expecting us. A nurse wheeled me over to the other side, where we had spent an anxious few hours at the end of Week 15. This time we were 32 weeks along, our 3rd trip there, and stood a much better chance of taking home live babies, even if they were born tonight. I felt much more relaxed.

That changed somewhat after we got into the room and I changed into an ill fitting hospital gown that wouldn't even close around me and the strings were broken. So my ass was hanging out. How charming. Then here come a barrage of nurses, each introducing themselves, doing some brief activity, then turning me over to another. They started doing non-stress testing on the babies, meaning they trussed me up like a Thanksgiving turkey with a maze of monitors and belts lashed to my abdomen. All of that cold goop on my tummy, the lashing and unlashing of belts as they chased the babies' heartbeats around, cinching, tightening, loosening and unloosening of belts, all started to get to me. Why weren't they doing anything about the contractions?

Finally, after about 1-1/2 hours they gave up trying to track Baby C, who apparently was hiding from all the poking and prodding. I wished desperately that I could do the same. I kept hearing references to conversations and directives from my doctor, then I heard the words "magnesium sulfate" as in, that's what they were going to do to me! I was horrified! As I knew from the triplets list, that's the mother of all tocolytics and according to everything I had heard, the worst. I really got upset then. I asked why they didn't do an ultrasound to make sure Baby C was okay, because by now I was wondering why they couldn't find her heartbeat. I was also upset because no one had checked my cervix to see if the babies were about to fall out. They said Dr. T. would do that himself. Fine, but why not give me some terbutaline shots or an IV first to see if that worked. (Thank God they didn't listen to me. That's why we have doctors!) They tried to humor me, but by now I was slightly irrational and starting to get weepy. When they announced that Dr. T. had ordered mag, I really started bawling. The nurse thought I was upset about being in pre-term labor, but it wasn't really that - I always knew that would probably happen. No, it was all the pushing, poking, prodding, asking the same questions I had answered on our first two trips to the hospital. Why don't they put it in the computer? Hell, even paper files would work! Anyway, I just started sobbing and the nurse tried to comfort me but I just wanted her to get away from me. (I would later develop quite a reputation among the nurses as being somewhat "difficult" but I think they realized it was mostly from hormones. They did a great job and I thank them.)

The IV nurse made me feel much better and told me what to expect from the mag. She stayed for the first 20 or 30 minutes without leaving the room. It turned out not to be so bad. I did get hot, but we just turned down the thermostat to 62 and I felt fine. The contractions slowed down and we started to relax.

By now it was daybreak, and they said Dr. T. had a c-section at 9:00 a.m. so to look for him then. I was thirsty but couldn't have any food or drink until he saw me. Mark hung in there, determined to hear what Dr. T. had to say. He still somehow thought that I would be released by noon, 1 or 2 at the latest, even though everybody we asked seemed to think I'd be there for a least a few days, if not the duration. When Dr. T. came, it became real clear that I'd probably be in the hospital until the babies were born. He said I had done great to get to 32 weeks, but this was a crucial time and we need to do whatever it takes to get them further along. Well, when he put it like that, of course we agreed and pretty much accepted right then and there that I would there for however long it took. After that, we felt better and settled in for the long haul. Dr. T. told me that he had a patient down the hall who was 26-27 weeks along who had been in the hospital for about 5 or 6 weeks. And she still had a long way to go. That put things into perspective right away. He checked my cervix -- 70% effaced but still closed. Serious stuff. I started to feel really glad I was in the hospital under 24 hour care, and began to adjust to the rhythm of hospital life.. Over the next 2-1/2 weeks I would have to remind myself often that this was for the good of the babies.